The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
