I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
