She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
