Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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