Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
