dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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