I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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