What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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