I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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