Is it normal to miss your booty call?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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