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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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