She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
