I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just tell him i said nine months
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize