Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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