I heard we made out
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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