I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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