were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
