Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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