hell yes lets make some ravioli
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
