My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize