yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
