I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
