he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
