just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
