will power is for people who don't want to get laid
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
