Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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