My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
