Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
