i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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