Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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