Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
