the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
