thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
