So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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