dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
