god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Are my feet made of real feet?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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