No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
