when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I could make wine with my vomit
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
