yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize