in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
COCAINE IS GR8
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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