The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
