I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
