I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
