I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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