smell my finger.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
