ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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