but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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