Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
