Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
