He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Go christen that room with your naked body.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize