Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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