What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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