question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize