Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
