so that wasnt chicken after all
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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