Do you still have your period?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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