Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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